Deciding To Grow

Before having children, I thought that parenting would be hard, but I had no idea what was ahead of me. When we got pregnant with Emma, Shawn and I both felt we were having a girl, but didn't find out for sure until week 34. We were so excited! Then the birth came, and the long labor, the endless pushing, and then the c-section. Didn't anything go right? For the next 6 weeks I struggled through the Holiday season, trying to nurse, be happy, or be excited to be a mom. After that first 6 weeks, I started enjoying being her mom, but only to learn a few years later, that when she was born, she came with a personality that would not change with growth. Emma is very independent. She wants everything to happen when she wants it, how she wants it and at her timing...NO ONE else. This has rung true with every big mile stone in her life. Dressing herself, potty training, riding a bike, night time potty training...and the list goes on. When She decides to do something, we give her the encouragement that she needs to feel like she can do it, and it happens. If we decide that it is time for her to learn something, and we give her encouragement, it rarely happens, because she didn't make the decision for herself.

The last 2 weeks we have seen such leap stones for her. First, she decided that she wanted to ride a bike. We had tried all summer, and it always ended in tears and we never got anywhere. She pulled out her little trike, and practiced pedaling, and steering for 2 days between the shed and the porch. Nothing big, but it was HUGE to us. Then she announced she was ready for the big side walk (out in front of the house). She did and she loved it. So the next step, we asked if she was ready for the big trike. Sure enough, she enthusiastically said "YES"! We rode the big trike for a few days, then we got her to ride the blue bike with the training wheels. She still isn't sure of the big girl bike, and prefers the trike, but at least she is riding.

The Second big step: Night time potty training. Shawn and I asked her off and on about the topic, but she never had any desire to try. For a short time, I had her in the training panties, with the plastic covers, but the plastic hurt her and she would cry every time it came time to put them on. I felt that becoming free from pull-up, diapers ect. at night, had to be something happy, not sad, so I stopped. I decided that I needed to wait until she was on board. Shawn stepped in Sept. 22 and asked her when she wanted to be out of pull ups at night. We talked about many mile stones that she could relate to ie: Paige being born, Her birthday, Christmas, Mason's birthday. Emma decided that she wanted to be out of Pull-ups when Paige was born. Shawn got really excited and told Emma that it would be her last night in Pull-Ups and the next night, she would wear panties. The next night we were all ready to be up changing her clothing and bedding, but to our surprise, she stayed dry all night and did so for the next 6 nights. We told her we would get her some new Princess PJ's if she stayed dry for a week, so Emma finally got her princess pj's. Up to now, she has had 1 morning accident and 1 morning leak, but that is it. She just had to decide that she wanted to do this.

As I have prayed for these two things to happen, I have seen how I have been the one to learn also. I have learned that I can gently encourage, lead and guide. I can not push or force to make the change. I guess, as I think about it, I have started learning the process of allowing our children to make choices for themselves, and not to make the choice for them. Some times I get frustrated, but do you think that our Heavenly Father feels the same way about us? Although I don't have power to make it all happen in my timing, I often times feel like the Lord's timing is better. I guess it is the same way for our children. As a parent, I don't always know when my children are ready for big steps, but I know when I am ready for them to make them, and they don't always work together. I have been grateful to learn through the process of potty training, that is isn't going to work in my timing. I have to be patient and help my children when it is their timing. It is the same with our Father in Heaven. We have to be patient with His timing, and not make it our own.