Something of Value

I wasn't going to blog about this because it just seemed at the time, that I shouldn't. I've had a change of heart and now, want this to be apart of our family book when this year gets made into our little history book.
Emma has a blankie that she has had since she was a baby. She loves this blankie with all her heart and it has been through a lot with her. Her blankie gives her comfort, dries her tears, wipes her nose, and helps her sleep. It means a lot to her and has a lot of sentimental value.

Fast forward 4 years and now she 6 years old, and quite frankly drives her mother crazy most the time. When Emma turned 6 she brought me her blankie and told me that she was a big girl now and wanted to give me her blankie to save for our next baby. She'd been asking for a new baby for quite sometime, and maybe in her little girl mind, she thought, if the baby had a blankie, she get a baby? We'll it wasn't even a week before she asked to have her blankie back. Armed with blankie, the play time continued on and the snuggling at night in bed started all over again. She just loves this thing.

A week and a half ago, some traumatic events happened in our house and tonight, Emma brought it all back to me. The heart ache and the disappointment. I spent my typical Thursday doing laundry but I also decided to vacuum the house also. As I finished up the vacuuming, I put the last load of laundry in the dryer and headed to my room to take a shower to get ready for a date to the movies with my hubby. I didn't have much time and I knew I'd have to move quick to get ready before the babysitter came over. I took my wedding ring off, as I always go when I shower, but I set it down on my night stand. The kids were in the basement watching a new movie and I told them to stay there. I got out of the shower and in a rush to get ready, didn't go to put my ring back on, in fact, it was Friday afternoon before I realized it wasn't on. I thought back to where I had it last and it took me a while to even remember taking it off. I went to my room it get it, and it wasn't there. Thinking that I just put it somewhere else, I didn't think much about it and started looking in my typical locations of where I've taken it off before. That night, I prayed that I would remember where I put it. Saturday was busy, I kept my eyes opened but didn't dedicate time to look for it. I figured I'd find it. I mentioned it to Emma and asked her if she's seen it and she said she hadn't.

Sunday morning, Shawn asked Emma about it again, and she told us that she took it off my nightstand (now I knew I wasn't crazy and misplaced it) while I was in the shower and was playing with it. We went through all the places she had been with it and retraced her steps and still didn't come up with it. Now you may be asking yourself, what does this have to do with her bankie?

As I cleaned my house Thursday, Friday and Saturday, I never came across my ring. Emma didn't seem to even care that it was gone and was upset at us for having her help us look for it. Because of her behavior, I knew there would have to be some discipline. I also felt that for her to understand my concern, my disappointment and my heartache, something that she treasured and was valuable to her would have to be taken. I knew immediately, that Blankie was going to become my property. Now I have to be honest. Part of me was hoping that in taking blankie, she would have a remembrance of what she did with it, or where it was at and go get it and all would be well. She didn't do that though. In fact, the whole thing backfired, that is, until tonight.

When I took blankie, she told me "oh well, I don't need it." "I have the blankie Jodi made me for Christmas." Deep down, I wanted to take all her blankies, but I knew that was just bad judgement and would be bad parenting. She hasn't mentioned her blankie or asked for it at all. Until tonight. And honestly, I had forgotten I had it. And I felt bad a little bit.
We talked about how she can get her blankie back and what needed to happen. I actually felt that she started caring about her actions. I told her that it hurt me that while the rest of the family was praying to find the ring, she was complaining we were asking her to look for it. I told her she needed to pray and ask Heavenly Father sincerely, meaning something you really mean, to help her remember where she had the ring last. It's been a while, so in all honesty, I don't expect her to remember. We talked about how Heavenly Father answers our prayers, and how the Holy Ghost talks to us. As I told her that her Heavenly Father would hear and answer her prayers if she really meant them, I asked myself if I really believe it. Do I believe that we will find my ring. We have looked just about everywhere possible for that ring. I really want it back. I have deep hope that He will answer he prayer. I also have to remember that our prayers aren't always answered the way we want or in the time we want them to be. Talking to Emma just reminded me that sometimes, what we think is best for us, really isn't and Heavenly Father is the only one who knows that.

She is under the impression that her Daddy who loves her Mommy very much will buy another ring for me. And when that happens, her blankie will be returned. When I took her blankie, I told her the only way she would get it back, is if my ring was back in my possession. I asked her tonight, if I got a new ring, who would pay for it. "Daddy" came the reply. I asked "Is that fair?" Not thinking she would put any thought into that question, I was surprised when she answered. "No, because he didn't take it and loose it."

Maybe, just maybe, she realizes it is her fault that it is gone and I don't have it. And honestly, that is all I really wanted her to understand when it first went missing.

Maybe we will find it. Maybe we won't. If a good lesson is learned from this experience, maybe it will be worth it. I still want my wedding ring back, my heart still aches from it's absents, but I can't change that. I can only continue to pray.